March 26th

Well first things first, non-GF's new official nickname, as voted on by all of you, is Posh! I gotta say, I love it! And of course I've added a new poll that you all have to vote in. It's of critical importance because this could decide a life-changing moment for Mface. Help her decide if the beloved Situation should come visit her. To me it's a no-brainer. So get voting, PRONTO! Anyway, here are all my fabulous updates from this past week.


Spotted: Lfed acting like a waste-face on Saturday night. She was talkin' gibberish all the way down South Chapel (something about alohomora?) Something is really wrong with that girl. --- Little K acting like a complete and total idiot. She tried to kick a soccer ball to a bunch of guys, she should have known that was not going to end well! --- The Situation firmly planted in the dirty Jerz for the weekend. What the shit, why is he not visiting Mface?! --- Speaking of Mface, she was seen canoodling with a new guy, Designated Dave aka DD. What's going on here you two? Give me the deets! --- Double K's car being egged at 2am on Saturday. Talk about shitty but I always enjoy a good laugh at the expense of other people, so HA! --- Asian Baby enjoying round 2 with her South Chapel man. Naughty naughty girl, stay safe (; --- Mommy and Little K walking back to campus after a night at the big Bob. Careful girlies, you don't want to get mistaken for ladies of the night!


This week was full of some amazing gossip, but to tell you the truth, I just really don't have the time to relay it back to you in full detail. Wah, wah, get the fuck over it. My spotteds will be enough to hold you over until my next post. And my next post will be epic. With all the developments in Mface's relationships, the imminent arrival of the Situation to U of D's campus, and of course Spring Break! Next week is going to be a shit show. Stir up the dirt darlings, I'll be watching!


You know you love me,
xoxo Gossip Girl

March 25th

Spotted: Mface and the Situation spending some quality time together in Disney. How adorbs. They should totes get married. Imagine the story they could tell their kids "Mommy and Daddy met online in the midst of a bunch of penises!"

You know you love me,

xoxo Gossip Girl

March 19th

Hello darlings! Gossip Girl here. God, isn't it absolutely gorgeous out? Haven't you ever noticed that when the weather changes to spring everyone goes out of their motherfucking minds. Yeah, it's called Spring Fever, and I can guarantee that our gossipees all have the Fever right now, which means we're in store for an exciting weekend (;

Spotted: Mface texting the Situation. He asked her to be his GF! Adorbs. Too bad they haven't even met yet! --- Little K sitting on the Green by herself. Lame. But my sources tell me it looked like she was writing some music. Hmm...can't wait to hear that shit! --- Asian Baby totally incommunicado. Poor thing lost her phone and now is totally out of touch with the world. Hopefully she doesn't fall into oblivion. --- Mommy and DubK chatting with some soro-whores. Careful girls, it might be contagious! --- Non-Gay back in the dirty jerz. Ew, gross!

Keep your eyes here because I'm sure this weekend will be full of news worthy gossip and I know you won't want to miss any of it! As always, send UDGossipGirl@gmail.com with any scoop.

You know you love me,
xoxo Gossip Girl

Breaking News!

I was just sent this picture from one of my trusty informants:

Ummm...can you say NASTY! And do you want to know where said noodle was found? One might think it would be on the South Green where all the losers stay, but no, it was on Laird! In Mface's, Mommy's, Double K's and Little K's bathroom to be precise. Gross girls, why don't you hire a maid or something to clean that shit up.

You know you love me,
xoxo Gossip Girl

March 15th

Beware the Ides of March was the advice some old dude named Caesar was given, and I'm telling you all the same thing. Who knows what trouble you're getting yourselves into today. Oh wait that's right, I do!

Spotted: Bob and Mommy ignoring each other on the way to class. Clearly that romance that never really got off the ground is completely buried now. -- Mface texting the Situation. They've known each other for, what? a week, and they're already BFFs. -- DubK returning home from her weekend excursion. Girl looks tired, she must have been pretty busy, if you catch my drift. -- Little K making googly eyes at Educ boy. C'mon girl, I know he's fine but pick your jaw up off the floor! -- The engineers literally dancing in the middle of the dining hall. Could they get anymore annoying and pathetic? -- Rotund Econ prof wearing a bright orange sweater with black pants. Doesn't he know that Halloween isn't until October? He looks like a fat pumpkin.

There you go ladies and gents. Got scoop or comments? Send them to UDGossipGirl@gmail.com and I'll post them here. Don't you all want to be featured on my blog? Yeah, that's what I though so start sending that shit in. Until next time...

You know you love me,
xoxo Gossip Girl

March 14th

So now all you little readers have been fully updated on what's been going on since last semester, it's time to get to the goods and dish out the gossip from this weekend.

Spotted: Double K heading back to Lawn Guyland on Friday and she ain't coming back til Monday. Hopefully she stayed out of trouble, although I doubt it! -- All the usual suspects at Riot Act J's semi-birthday party. Lfed was MIA, although this does not come as a surprise, who would want her there anyway? -- Justin Bobby and Mface getting a little too close for comfort. Hello girl? What are you doing? -- Mface cancelling on her new friend the Situation. Poor guy was just looking for a little lovin' maybe he can sing his song to her another time. -- Little K and Mommy making a new friend on chat roulette! I'm surprised they could sift through all the penises and find a real person!

Friday was a bit non-eventful, which fucking sucks. Sure Riot Act J was having his big b-day bash, but Asian Baby and Little K steered clear of him all night. Good for them, bad for me. I want some juicy gossip to dish out! | Mface came face to face with Justin Bobby, the bane of every girl's existence. Although she claims to be totally cool hanging out and dancing with him, I sure as hell don't believe it! She told him to stop treating her like a toy. I just wish that showdown was more public and way louder. How epic would that have been? | Lfed stayed away from the Lairders this weekend and did her own South Green kind of things. Let's take a vote, who believes that's where Lfed should stay? To me it's unanimous, I cannot fathom why any of the Lairders would want to be friends with her anyway. The world works in pretty fucking mysterious ways.

Well then, until my next gossip filled post. Got some scoop? Got comments? E-mail at udgossipgirl@gmail.com and I may feature you on my next post!

You Know You Love Me,
xoxo Gossip Girl

Jesus Christ!

Not to use the Lord's name in vain, but Jesus Christ it's been a long time since my last post. Seriously, though how, have you people survived without me? Want to have a really fucking good time? Read through all of UD Gossip Girl's old posts, they're hysterical. And yet so much hasn't been reported on because I was on my much needed hiatus. Want a brief summary of all the best shit? Here you go, you can thank me later:

Mommy went home with a random boy on Halloween. Yes you read that right, MOMMY! I wonder what got into that girl. Oh wait I know, a shit ton of alcohol. And once that kind of thing happens once, it's bound to happen again. And I for one cannot wait to report it all to you when it does! | Mface had her way with plenty of boys and had them all begging for more. I can respect a girl that knows how to have a good time. Just as long as that good time is not with that douche known as Justin Bobby. | Double K and her BF are as adorable as ever. How fucking boring! Why don't you have some drama so I can report on it, kthnx. | Little K is just as awkward as she's always been. She deleted her FB for a while, maybe as a plot to change her awkward ways, but once awkward, always awkward, sorry hun! | Lfed is her normal South Green self. Boring, emo, useless. At least she quit band, so I guess people can't hold that against her, but her record will always be tarnished. | Non-Gay and the GF are officially back together. So I guess non-GF is no longer a suitable nickname. Any suggestions, let me know people. | And we have a beautiful new addition to gossip column, Asian Baby! She's Mommy's adopted Asian baby, and a perfect source of scandal since she takes after Mface and knows everyyyone. Plus it takes AB about .5 of a shot to get wasted. I cannot wait to see the shit she'll get into.

That's the update, darlings. Maybe I'll post more frequently, maybe I won't. You'll just have to stay tuned in to find out.

You Know You Love Me,
xoxo Gossip Girl