Guess what bitches? I'm all set up with mobile blogging so now I can report all my gossip from any where with 1 simple text. Isn't the future fucking fantastic?

September 29th

Good evening UDers, Gossip Girl here. Long time no update, no? Well you can all calm the fuck down because I'm back and better than ever. And just to prove it to you here is some truly excellent dirt that I scooped up (not literally, I don't let these perfect hands touch anything so disgusting) on everyone's favorite undergrads.

It's baby time around Delaware apparently and the men in Mface's and Lfed's lives are all over them.

Doesn't the Situation look adorable as shit with his and Mface's child? Okay, it isn't confirmed that it is actually Mface's baby, but I've been hearing rumors that the little one's name is Snooki, and we all know that's what Mface wanted to name her first child! What a cute family they all make.

And this right here is someone not all of us are acquainted with. But Lfed knows him quite well...This is EC. As in 28 and married EC. As in flirting the shit out of Lfed EC. As in trying to get in Lfed's pants EC. God, who knew Lfed was such a skanky homewrecker? And isn't this picture just one of mystery. Who's baby is that really, Lfed's or the wife's? This has the makings of one truly fan-fucking-tastic soap opera. I for one cannot wait to witness it.

And just in case you haven't heard, this year has been deemed "The Year of Bad Decisions" by your truly. It's already off to a wonderful start with Lfed's adultery, Mommy's beard burn, Double and Little K getting locked in Caffe Gelato, fucking brilliant pranks, and I know there will be oh so much more to come. And I will be right here reporting it all back to you.

You know you love me,

xoxo Gossip Girl