Believe me bitches. I never sleep. I know everything.
You know you love me,
xoxo Gossip Girl
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Special Bulletin From Gossip Girl: Shits going down at Home Grown tonight. I'll be reporting all of the awkward situations right here!
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Best shit I've seen in a long time. Baby Situation. Aw hellz yeah.
You know you love me,
xoxo Gossip Girl
Thursday, March 3, 2011
March 3rd
I'm back bitches! You can't get rid of me that easily, I'm always watching. And since I've been gone, I've just been collecting dirt on all of you. Seriously, the messes that you sluts get yourselves into! Let's catch you all up to speed on all these fabulous UDers.
Lfed: Girl gets the fuck AROUND. Lfed has had all types of men chasing after. We were all acquainted with EC last year and things came to a boil at TSE xmas party. EC tried to play it cool, but he was arms and touching legs with her all night and tried to get her to come out to a bar with him. They even exchanged digits and sources say a text along the lines of "I can't hang out with you like I want to because of all the people around" was sent from EC to little Lfed. Dude was ready to get it on! EC has since faded a bit from Lfed's life, but that doesn't mean he's disappeared. From what I hear, he still likes to chat with her from time to time. Keep an eye on him, once a manwhore, always a manwhore. And EC isn't the only guy to be in love with Lfed; we've got Asian Eric (who confessed his love to her and she promptly shot him down, what a bitch), random Canadian dude, Matty P (and who knows what the fuck is running through his head), sweet and sincere Ryan (he's happy when he talks to her and wants to kidnap her and give her shots on the beach, what's more romantic than that?) and the latest addition, Costa Rica Matt. Costa Rica has been giving off some very good vibes so Lfed better get the fuck on that!
Little K: Little K spent the winter overseas like a spoiled rich brat. And while over there she acted like a big old slut! Girl hooked up with practically any foreign man she could find including a Frenchie, a Canadian, a Spaniard and the little ho continued her streak once she got back to the states. Sources reveal that Little K got with 3 different guys her first weekend back at UD, one of them being the infamous JLew. Dude has caused so many fucking problems! Not only that, but Little K got assaulted by Funny J last weekend where he confessed his undying love for her and she responded with a drunken scream of FRIENDS ONLY! This chick needs to get her act together.
Double K: The center of JLew's affections, how adorable. If JLew wasn't so fucking weird and Dub K wasn't still with her BF! The weirdo conned her into coming into his abandoned bedroom at 4am last Saturday to confess his feelings. Too bad for him, Double K turned him down 3 times over! Once for herself, once for Little K, and once for Mommy. She also fully denied him of a kiss that he so desperately desired and witnesses say that she even criticized him of his emoticon usage (which is fricking excessive, slow your roll JLew!) Girl better watch her back now, who knows when JLew could pop up now, maybe even in Trabant when you're just trying to get some chik-fil-a!
Mface: This chicky has been playing the field, looking for opportunities to strike. She hooked a fine specimen at the end of winter session but he was just not up to the Mface standards. You do you girl! Ya gotta find a man who's worthy of your time and presence! Besides that, my sources have been coming up pretty much blank with Mface. She must be lying low. But don't expect that to last for long, I always find something to dig up.
Asian Baby: This lady has been dealing with professional drama for awhile now! Everything just seems to be changing and creating tension and awkward moments. Both of which I loveeee, it's always a shit ton of fun to report of that crap, so bring it on AB. Besides that Asian Baby also had the unpleasant experience of running into everyone's least favorite guy Evan. Looks like the slut taught her a lesson though by dangling herself in front of him and pulling away the bait at the last second. Seems like I have taught you well young one (;
Mommy: After returning from her European adventure, Mommy is practically a new woman! Some would even say she's really not a mom anymore, insanity I know. But the whore hooked up with a 32 year old Chippendales dancer as well as a shit ton of other European and American men. And her streak has yet to stop. Just last weekend Mommy got with 3 guys in ONE NIGHT! Sources say that she's been freaking out about the fact that she's a slut, but I say get it while you can girl! It's not like you went home with some random dude and didn't tell a single one of your friends like some dumb bitch I know did on Halloween. Oh wait....
And there you have it ladies and gents. An epic update on your favorite UDers. Maybe I'll update again soon, maybe I won't, I like to keep you in suspense. For now, just keep in mind, nothing gets past me.
You know you love me,
xoxo Gossip Girl
Spotted: Excerpt from UDress magazine - "I do like some scruff, but only sometimes because that shit can give you rug burn on your face."
Mommy knows all about that.
You know you love me,
xoxo Gossip Girl
Friday, December 10, 2010
Breaking news: Mommy is backkkkk! We love her soooooooo much!
You know you love me,
xoxo Gossip Girl
Saturday, October 30, 2010
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Jokes on Lfed.
Seems like everyone is really loving this picture of Lfed recently. If you check on Facebook it seems like everyone and their mother has it as there profile picture. If Lfed thinks that she can top Britney fucking Spears in a showing your stomach contest, she would be wrong.
You know you love me,
xoxo Gossip Girl
Saturday, October 16, 2010
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